Bandit took some time today to explain Valentine’s Day – and boy, is it a scary holiday! Here’s the beginning of his column:
“It is time for Valentines Day, the day when people go around telling other people how much they love them or they try to get people to fall in love with them. It’s all hearts and hugs and kisses and love.
“But it is all a big lie. Really, those people are trying to kill you.
“First, a naked baby named Cupid flies around with a bow and arrow trying to shoot people in the heart. Where I live, babies are not allowed to fly around without their mommies (or their diapers), and they are definitely not allowed to play with bows and arrows. Plus, just in case you didn’t know, if you shoot someone through the heart with an arrow they will die. And they probably won’t love you for it, either.”