Since I know there are many readers who find great humor whenever I hurt myself, I had to share my latest calamity with you. Just in case you’re in need of some amusement in this heat wave.
Last night, I was trying to climb over the dog gate in my bedrooom doorway. The gate is there to let the airconditioning out but keep the wet stinky dogs off the bed. At least until bedtime.
As I started to go over, my foot caught on the gate and I lost my balance. I whammed my knee really really hard on the door jamb.
Ironically, the place on my knee where I whammed is also the place the doctor hits with his little hammer to test your reflexes. So when I whammed my knee, my leg automatically straightened, slamming my ankle against the corner of the wall and sending me flying over the gate head first.
If you know me at all, I’m constantly black and blue from bumping, bonking, and whamming myself. (True story: I was at the doctor once for I don’t remember what, but she pointed to my arm and asked me how I got that “unusual bruise” in the shape of what might be a hand. Huh, I said, I didn’t even know I had that. Then she pointed to a huge bruise on my leg. Same answer. “Is someone doing this to you,” she asked, in all seriousness. Which made me laugh out loud. I explained that I’m covered in black and blue marks and proceeded to show her about a dozen bangs and bruises. I could remember how I got maybe half of them, mainly from walking into open cupboard doors, from where the dog jumps on me, etc. I convinced her that I’m a klutz but she said I shouldn’t bruise that easily and sent me for blood tests, which revealed that I am, officially and scientifically, just a klutz.)
But back to last night’s trip. This was a whopper of a fall. For several minutes I lay on the bed in pain. But I’m a gamer; once the initial agony was over, I got up. Only to find I couldn’t put any weight on my leg.
As you might have already guessed, I’m also no athlete, but I do know that in these situations the best thing to do is walk it off. Or ice it. I couldn’t remember which. So I walked to the kitchen and got some ice and planted myself on the couch to watch TV. You don’t have to tell me twice.
This morning I have a lovely bump on my knee and I can’t wait to see what colors of black and blue I’ll be sporting for the rest of the summer. So glad I got it in time to show off while wearing my summer shorts. Pretty!