Bandit does the chicken update

Hi, all, Bandit here! Mommy is busy working and said I could do the chicken update. So here’s what I have to say.

Chickens are stupid. They poop all over their cage and then they sleep in it!!

Hey, I like to be stinky as much as the next dog. This week, me and Scout were running around the back yard, rolling around in the mud and leaves. It was great fun! But Mommy was really mad because Scout had to go to school to read with Timmy. She put Scout in the bathtub and washed his paws off. Hahahaha!! I didn’t have to get a bath! I’m glad I don’t go to school. Ha.

But even me and Scout know that you don’t poop in your house and then sleep in it. Gross.

Chickens are pigs. All they do is eat, eat, eat. And then they poop, poop, poop. They even poop in their food dish! They eat so much that Mommy has to fill the dish like four times a day, and there’s always poop in it.

AND they poop in their water dish! They scratch and throw the pine shavings all over the cage, and fill up the water dish. Mommy has to empty it all the time. Stupid chickens.

In case you didn’t know, you are not supposed to poop in your food dish or water bowl. Even a stupid chicken should know that. If you have to poop in your house, you should do it away from your favorite place to sleep, someplace where Mommy will find it later. But don’t let her find you while you’re actually pooping. That makes her madder than if she finds it later and you have time to put a sad face on, like you’re saying, “Gee Mommy, I’m so sorry. I have a tummy ache again and I couldn’t help it.” She doesn’t get mad at all then. Hahaha on Mommy!

Some of the chicks are nice. Mrs. Beasley and Mrs. Wiggins are my friends. When Mommy goes to the cage, the rest of the chickens flap around like Mommy is a scary monster. Yeesh, they’re so stupid. Don’t they know that when you see Mommy, it almost always means someone is going to get a treat? When Mommy takes Mrs. Beasley or Mrs. Wiggins out of the cage, they sit nice and let me sniff them and sometimes even let me give them kisses. They are very nice. The rest of the chickens are not so much fun. They don’t play catch or race around the yard. Mommy says they will give us eggs in a few months. Whatever. If you can’t play catch you’re no fun.

Scout is afraid of the chickens. They flap and peep and he’s scared of stuff like that sometimes. So I told Mommy that I will help her take care of the chickens. I like to eat their leftover food, at least the food that hasn’t been pooped on.

So that’s what I think about the chickens.

Love Bandit


2 responses to “Bandit does the chicken update

  1. Hi Bandit! See .. last week you were upset because Mommy left you alone while she and Scout went out,,,, Now you are happy because no school means no BATH!!! Smart dog :-)Jeff

  2. Jeff, I don't like baths and I don't like it when Mommy leaves me alone. Mommy will have to figure out how to make that all work.Love Bandit

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